For Your Sighs Only is the ninth title published in the highly collectible Trevor Anderson – Agent 0008 Series.
WARNING: This review contains sexual and adult themes.
I guess because Ian Fleming’s James Bond stories were serialised in Playboy magazine, Bond, as well as being a spy was labelled as being a confident ladies man, and in parodies this was stretched and he was often depicted as a randy skirt chaser. It is not so very surprising then, that adult books would latch on the Bond bandwagon. Many series of adult books featuring studly spies appeared in the mid to late sixties. Due to their adult content, they were pretty much over-looked by the main stream media and now have almost disappeared into the ether. However, one series that is still highly sought after are the Clyde Allison 0008 adventures.
The books are now collectors items, and when you can obtain them, they sell for exorbitant prices. One the things that makes them collectable is the incredible cover artwork by Robert Bonfils. The other aspect that makes them collectable is the writing by Clyde Allison — which is a pseudonym for William Henley Knoles. The stories vary in quality. Some are witty and clever, others are simply repetitive; but generally they are fast paced and fun (in their weird perverted way!) Of the few stories I have read, For Your Sighs Only seems to have a slightly higher sexual content than some of the others in the series. But generally the sex scenes are quite tame by today’s literary standards. There are loads of deliberately puerile descriptions of body parts — breasts are routinely described as ‘frontal fun flesh’.
For Your Sighs Only opens with a vigorous, nude ski chase on the Swiss Alps. Our hero is chasing down three enemies of the Free World – who are also skiing naked. During the chase 0008 tries to pick of his targets with a ski pole gun. One thing that struck me is about the ski pole gun is that James Bond uses the same thing at the start of the film The Spy Who Loved Me. The writer (of screenplay & novelisation) of the TSWLM was Christopher Wood – who prior to his gig as Bond wrote those British ‘Confessions of…’ books. If you’re not familiar with them they were a series of soft core sex comedies from the sixties and seventies. So if he was a writer in the same genre as Clyde Allison it is quite possible that he had read the 0008 books and ‘borrowed’ the idea for Bond.
The ski chase continues, and 0008 picks off two of his targets, but manages to get tangled up with the third – so much so that they roll off the edge, down into a crevice. Their predicament doesn’t end there and an avalanche of snow begins to fall on them…and, and, and 0008 freezes to death. Yep. He’s dead! Well that’s one way to start a book!
The story then, of course flashes back to the start of the mission. SADISTO — who are the good guys — like most intelligence agencies are short on funds to fiance their missions. But they now have an opportunity to acquire one billion dollars in gold. The gold is the long lost treasure of ‘Darius the Great’, ruler of ancient Persia. This treasure was recently found by a cave explorer called Lithica Stone. Lithica has now varnished, but prior to going missing, she passed the location to the treasure cave to two friends. Each of these friends was given one part of the location — one was given the exact longitude — the other was given the exact latitude. Unfortunately these two girls were kidnapped by the evil organisation KRUNCH (Kriminality, Revenge, Under-handed tricks, Nastiness, Cruelty and Hijacking). KRUNCH torture the girls and mange to extract the longitude from one of the girls. But before they can find out the latitude, SADISTO Agent 0002 comes to the rescue and kills all the KRUNCH operatives. 0002 learns the latitude from the surviving girl before she expires.
So SADISTO have the latitude co-ordinate to find the gold, but KRUNCH have the longitude. 0008’s mission is simple — he has to infiltrate KRUNCH and find out the Longitude co-ordinate. 0008 begins his mission at a KRUNCH summit meeting which is being held at a nudist colony in Switzerland. What could happen to a randy secret agent at a nudist colony?
As this is a story about ‘Gold’ it will come as no surprise that this book makes several references to ‘Goldfinger’ (the film — rather than the book). The first occurs on page 45:
A Portly, fair haired man, who looked a bit like the actor Gert Frobe, rose to his portly feet.
“Heil Hit…I mean, Greetings, fellow conspirators,” he wheezed.
Of course this is referring to the controversy that surrounded the film Goldfinger when it was discovered that actor, Frobe had been a member of the Nazi Party. From Wikipedia:
Born in Zwickau, Fröbe was a member of the Nazi Party before and during World War II. However, he aided German Jews by hiding them from the Gestapo. Because of his former membership in the Nazi Party, the film Goldfinger was initially banned in Israel until he was publicly thanked for his help by a Jewish family.
The next Goldfinger reference is a bit more blatant and it comes from a speech delivered by the head villainess, Miss Fu Chik Chu — page 51:
“Thank you, fellow co-conspirators. It is true that I have devoted most of my life to the pursuit of gold. Next to my late, great, still remembered friend, Auric Goldfinger, no person in history has pursued gold so avidly, has loved gold so deeply. Thus, humbly, I feel I am the right person to recover the greatest gold hoard of all time. With your assent, I now assume complete charge of Operation Gold Trove.”
Now, as I described the opening chapter ending with 0008 freezing to death, you’re probably wondering how he gets out of that predicament. Obviously I do not want to spoil the story, and this is one of the better twists in the novel — but 0008 wakes up in the future 2066.
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Most readers would be familiar with the famous Page 69 Test. The theory is that page 69 should be a good reflection on the contents of the book. Well, with a piece of Clyde Allison erotica, I guess the 69 Test takes on a new meaning. But still I thought it was worth submitting For Your Sighs Only to the test to see how it stacks up. The page begins with our hero, 0008 in hospital after being revived from being buried frozen in the ice for the past century – so the following part of the story takes place in the future.
The nurse punched a button and the giant TV screen went silent and became a mirror again. “Well,” she said brightly, “you’re almost famous. Now, what can I do for you? Orange juice? Coffee? Tea? A cigarette?”
“A cigarette,” I mused. “So they finally worked the bugs out of cigarettes, eh?”
“I’m afraid not,” frowned the nurse. “They’re still the chief cause of lung cancer and heart disease. But with the population what it is, who cares? Maybe you’d prefer an alcoholic drink, or a hallucinogenic mushroom pill, or sex, or…”
“Sex?” I leered.
She looked at me worriedly. “Why do you have that curious expression on your face? Almost as if – why, you’re leering! How adorably old-fashioned! But then I keep forgetting how old you are. Sex was pretty secret and snide back in your century, wasn’t it old timer. Now, of course, we take sex for granted.” She sauntered nakedly over to me. “Want me to relieve your sexual tensions?” I nodded eagerly. And a tingling, rising sensation low in my body told me that my normal reactions hadn’t been impaired by a century on ice…
For Your Sighs Only passes the Page 69 Test with flying colours. The above passage perfectly sums up what you can expect to find within it’s pages.
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The more I read and find out about Clyde Allison the more fascinated I become. Because they were mildly pornographic, these books appear to have been somewhat dismissed as ‘throwaways’ at the time — but some of the ideas contained within have stood the test of time and may have been ‘borrowed/recycled/stolen’ for more legitimate spy fiction and films over the intervening years.
Thanks to Flapjack 111, I am happy to present For Your Sighs Only in it’s entirety. As the Clyde Allison 0008 Sadisto novels are out of print, rare, and extremely expensive, we thought it only right that we should share the adventures of one of the more perverse Bondian imitators.
You can find links to download JPGs for For Your Sighs Only below. Enjoy.