The Order of the Black Eagle (1987)

Country: United States
Director: Worth Keeter
Starring: Ian Hunter, C.K Bibby, William Hicks, Jill Donnellan, Stephan Krayk, Anna Rapagna, Flo Hyman
Music: Dee Barton

I know it’s a cliche, but some movies are so bad that they are good, and The Order of the Black Eagle is one of them. It’s like four people with too much money got together and said, ‘Hey, let’s make a film!’ Each of these four people contributed a style of film that they wanted made – one said ‘James Bond’, another said a ‘Spaghetti Western’, the third said ‘like Raiders of the Lost Ark‘, and the fourth person in the room said, ‘I liked those Clint Eastwood movies with the Oran Utan’. So armed with that information scriptwriter Phil Behrens came up with a story that appeased these would be movie moguls…and the result is one of the most stupid but riotously entertaining movies ever made.

The merriment begins with vintage newsreel footage of Adolph Hitler ranting and raving — all the things we expect from Hitler. The footage fades to black and the words ‘THEY SAID IT COULDN’T HAPPEN AGAIN’ flash on the screen. Hmmm. Ominous. Then the film jumps to Geneva in Switzerland..today (today being 1987 in this instance). An awards ceremony is taking place and the recipient of the ‘International Science Award’ for his work in the field of lasers is Dr. George Brinkman (Stephan Krayk). Before Brinkman can finish his acceptance speech, a band of black clad Neo-Nazis smash through the windows and spray the room with machine gun fire. Everyone ducks for cover, and Brinkman is kidnapped and spirited outside. Next he is tied to a cable and winched up to a chopper waiting overhead.

Meanwhile, the world’s coolest secret agent, Duncan Jax (Ian Hunter) — even if his hair is thinning — is retrieving some diamonds that have been stolen from the Smithsonian Museum. These diamonds are in a sealed vault that has invisible laser beams criss-crossing the room. Despite these hi-tech precautions, there is still a bloody big air vent in the room, and wearing a pair of infra-red glasses, Jax enters the room via the vent and makes his way to the diamonds. However, as Jax tucks away the diamonds and prepares to exit, he is a trifle clumsy and drops the glasses. This sets of the alarm and the guards come en masse. Jax now has to fight his way out, which he does with relative ease. And thankfully he also has an accomplice to help him on the roof. The accomplice is named ‘Boon’ and he happens to be a baboon. Boon is waiting in Jax’s Ultralight plane, and when Jax gives the signal, Boon starts the engine. Naturally Jax and Boon fly off to safety.

Now after that teaser, the real story begins. It seems that a Neo-Nazi organisation called the Order of the Black Eagle are behind the kidnapping of Dr. Brinkman. The Black Eagle are run by a millionaire called Baron Ernst Von Teppisch (William Hicks). Their top secret headquarters is located in an ancient temple ruins in the jungles of South America – and their aim is to rule the world with a supreme white race. We know all this because Jax is being briefed for his mission — which is to rescue Dr. Brinkman and destroy the Nazi base — by a man named Star (C.K. Bibby). Star is your ‘M’ type. The reason that Jax has been selected for this mission (apart from the fact that he’s the best) is that he is the dead ringer for an American member of the Order called Bladen. Bladen has been captured and Jax is to take his place during a meeting of all the Neo-Nazi leaders at the jungle headquarters.

As Bladen has an assistant, so too must Jax (no, no — Boon has to stay home), and assigned to partner him on the mission is Miss Tiffany Youngblood (Jill Donnellan). Before you know it Jax and Youngblood are inside the Nazi compound and they find out what the Baron von Teppisch is up to. You’ll be pleased to know that he is developing a proton beam that can shoot down telecommunications satellites. By controlling space, he figures he can control the world. But this is only half of it — von Teppisch also has Adolph Hitler’s cyrogenically frozen body, and he intends to unfreeze the Fuhrer, to once again wreak his special kind of madness on the world.

I won’t outline too much more of the plot as it is rather nonsensical, but halfway through the story adds another layer of contrivance. Here Jax picks up a band of mercenaries to help him with the destruction of the Nazi compound. The first is Maxie Ryder (Anna Rapagna) — who is pretty hot. Ryder has given up life in the big city for a life in the jungle. Then there’s Hammer (Joe Coltrane), Juice (James Eric), Cowboy (Bill Gribbel), S.D. Terry Loughlin), Spike (Flo Hyman) and Bolt (Dean Whitworth). With a team with names like that you can expect a reasonable amount of mayhem, and they deliver. The film has motorcycle, boat and hovercraft chases and a generous amount of explosions — you know the kind, the big Hollywood orange fireball type ones. Many Nazis die – most seem to hit a hidden trampoline just after the explosion and fly through the air onto a pile of oil drums.

There is one strange bit (one, who am I kidding!) in the film where it seems like the characters got bored with just playing out spy film cliches and decided to turn the film into a western for a while, complete with a gang of unshaven banditos encircling the cantina where our heroes are holed up.

The Order of the Black Eagle is a film that has many lowlight highlights, but the one that will stick in my mind till the end of my days happens as the good guys storm the Nazi compound. As each of the mercenaries goes about their business killing Nazis, Boon enters the picture once again, which is good, because I was kind of missing the little fella. Well, you may be thinking ‘What can a baboon do?’ In this instance he can drive a tank.

And it’s not just any tank — it’s one that looks to be ripped off from the dragon in Dr. No.

So, what we have is a baboon driving around an army tank, firing missiles, with pin-point accuracy at the buildings in the Nazi compound. I am afraid my feeble words cannot do justice to the absurdity of the scene. Needless to say, to me this was so funny, it almost hurt to watch. Forget Clyde, or Lancelot Link — if you want a real simian hero, look no further than Boon!

I know The Order of the Black Eagle is crap (and the film-makers know it too and just have fun with it), but for the jaded spy film fan, this is just the tonic — a film so stupid that it is brilliant. It has all the spy cliches, girls, gadgets, an evil villain with a plan for world domination, a frozen Hitler, and heaps of explosions. It, in its way, is possibly the greatest film of its kind and succeeds where many parodies have failed. Enjoy!

The Order of the Black Eagle (1987)

Blofeld sings…

Well not really. It’s Telly Savalas singing – (although they are more spoken word vocals). If you’re interested in what an evil mastermind sounds like in the recording studio, then here’s your chance to find out, thanks to MP3 MIX by JENSONBRASIL.

To download the album, click here.

Although I don’t know if you’re going to thank me for this link…his version of ‘You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling’ makes me cry for all the wrong reasons.

Who loves ya, baby!

Blofeld sings…

The 100 Dollar Gang (1965)

AKA: Night Of Murder In Manhattan
Director: Harald Philipp
Starring: George Nader, Heinz Weiss, Richard Munch, Monika Grimm, Sidney Solar
Music: Peter Thomas

One of the confusing things about Eurospy films is that they go by many different titles. This particular film appears to be more popularly known to English speaking audiences as Night Of Murder In Manhattan (or Manhattan Night of Murder), but I am calling it The 100 Dollar Gang because that is the name that popped up in the titles on my screen as I was watching the film. The reason I do this is quite simply — so you know what version I am reviewing. With the various different titles, Eurospy films can have different audio dubs and editing too. On several occasions I have looked at my trusty copy of The Eurospy Guide and have been confused at Matt or David’s take on a particular film. However they are not wrong — they are simply looking at a very different copy of the film to me. Equally, when you read one of my reviews for a Eurospy flick you may think I am off beam.

Having said all that, I do not think that there is too much difference between the versions for this, the second of the Jerry Cotton movies starring George Nader. I just wanted to clarify why I am calling this film a different name to other reviewers.

Now I haven’t seen all of the Jerry Cotton films — I have seen six of the eight — and I’d have to say I have enjoyed them all, and The 100 Dollar Gang is no exception, but it is possibly the weakest film in the series I have seen so far. At times it almost seems like a documentary about the FBI. There is endless footage, on several occasions through this film of FBI headquarters and nameless characters going through there mundane (although incredibly important) work. There are rows of computer banks and reams of continuous fed computer paper and there are specialists looking through microscopes. It’s all meant to look hi-tech — and I guess it was in 1965 — but with today’s advances it all looks hokey. But even back in 1965, filler footage was filler footage. This is padding and it slows the story down, just when you want it to get cracking.

The villains in this film are a gang of protection racketeers called ‘The 100 Dollar Gang’, because they shake down the local shop owners for $100 a month. As the film opens an old man is closing up his shop. With him is his grandson Billy (Uwe Reichmeister). As the old man goes to lock up, a racketeer comes in and demands money. The old man tries to hold out and gets slapped around for his trouble. Finally he pays up and the racketeer leaves — but he has a shadow, in the form of Billy who follows the gang member.

Next stop for the racketeer is a petrol station. He shakes down the owner, Sally (Monika Grimm) for $100. Next the racketeer moves onto a restaurant called Guiseppe’s. The owner, Guiseppe (naturally), refuses to pay. In fact he forcibly throws the racketeer out. But, as you may guess, the racketeer returns with a gang of thugs. Billy who has been following and watching is standing outside the window. He sees the goons trash the restaurant and then as Guiseppe tries to call the police, somebody pull a gun and shots him. The only witness is Billy, and soon he is the target of The 100 Dollar Gang.

The FBI are called in to investigate, and their two best men are assigned to the case — Jerry Cotton (George Nader) and Phil Dekker (Heinz Weiss). One thing I love about the Cotton films is that Jerry usually has to perform some ridiculous stunt to get out of trouble — accompanied to Peter Thomas’ rousing theme. In The 100 Dollar Gang, the stunts aren’t too vigorous. But none-the-less the film has a few pleasing action scenes. The first is a foot chase through an industrial site, which culminates in a dangling rescue attempt, performed by Jerry, for a perp who has fallen into a coal pit. Later, Jerry crawls around on the outside ledge of a delapidated factory, while inside a bomb awaits behind a door. Next there’s a brutal rampage in a supermarket storeroom. And finally there’s a car chase where, Jerry in his red Jaguar chases the villains in a white Stingray.

Ultimately I enjoy the Jerry Cotton films, but this appears to be one of the weaker ones and while it is pleasant enough, it doesn’t quite have the weight of some of the other films. Even though it only runs 90 minutes, it could have done with some trimming to tighten up the story.

The 100 Dollar Gang (1965)

The 100 Dollar Gang (1965)

AKA: Night Of Murder In Manhattan
Director: Harald Philipp
Starring: George Nader, Heinz Weiss, Richard Munch, Monika Grimm, Sidney Solar
Music: Peter Thomas

One of the confusing things about Eurospy films is that they go by many different titles. This particular film appears to be more popularly known to English speaking audiences as Night Of Murder In Manhattan (or Manhattan Night of Murder), but I am calling it The 100 Dollar Gang because that is the name that popped up in the titles on my screen as I was watching the film. The reason I do this is quite simply — so you know what version I am reviewing. With the various different titles, Eurospy films can have different audio dubs and editing too. On several occasions I have looked at my trusty copy of The Eurospy Guide and have been confused at Matt or David’s take on a particular film. However they are not wrong — they are simply looking at a very different copy of the film to me. Equally, when you read one of my reviews for a Eurospy flick you may think I am off beam.

Having said all that, I do not think that there is too much difference between the versions for this, the second of the Jerry Cotton movies starring George Nader. I just wanted to clarify why I am calling this film a different name to other reviewers.

Now I haven’t seen all of the Jerry Cotton films — I have seen six of the eight — and I’d have to say I have enjoyed them all, and The 100 Dollar Gang is no exception, but it is possibly the weakest film in the series I have seen so far. At times it almost seems like a documentary about the FBI. There is endless footage, on several occasions through this film of FBI headquarters and nameless characters going through there mundane (although incredibly important) work. There are rows of computer banks and reams of continuous fed computer paper and there are specialists looking through microscopes. It’s all meant to look hi-tech — and I guess it was in 1965 — but with today’s advances it all looks hokey. But even back in 1965, filler footage was filler footage. This is padding and it slows the story down, just when you want it to get cracking.

The villains in this film are a gang of protection racketeers called ‘The 100 Dollar Gang’, because they shake down the local shop owners for $100 a month. As the film opens an old man is closing up his shop. With him is his grandson Billy (Uwe Reichmeister). As the old man goes to lock up, a racketeer comes in and demands money. The old man tries to hold out and gets slapped around for his trouble. Finally he pays up and the racketeer leaves — but he has a shadow, in the form of Billy who follows the gang member.

Next stop for the racketeer is a petrol station. He shakes down the owner, Sally (Monika Grimm) for $100. Next the racketeer moves onto a restaurant called Guiseppe’s. The owner, Guiseppe (naturally), refuses to pay. In fact he forcibly throws the racketeer out. But, as you may guess, the racketeer returns with a gang of thugs. Billy who has been following and watching is standing outside the window. He sees the goons trash the restaurant and then as Guiseppe tries to call the police, somebody pull a gun and shots him. The only witness is Billy, and soon he is the target of The 100 Dollar Gang.

The FBI are called in to investigate, and their two best men are assigned to the case — Jerry Cotton (George Nader) and Phil Dekker (Heinz Weiss). One thing I love about the Cotton films is that Jerry usually has to perform some ridiculous stunt to get out of trouble — accompanied to Peter Thomas’ rousing theme. In The 100 Dollar Gang, the stunts aren’t too vigorous. But none-the-less the film has a few pleasing action scenes. The first is a foot chase through an industrial site, which culminates in a dangling rescue attempt, performed by Jerry, for a perp who has fallen into a coal pit. Later, Jerry crawls around on the outside ledge of a delapidated factory, while inside a bomb awaits behind a door. Next there’s a brutal rampage in a supermarket storeroom. And finally there’s a car chase where, Jerry in his red Jaguar chases the villains in a white Stingray.

Ultimately I enjoy the Jerry Cotton films, but this appears to be one of the weaker ones and while it is pleasant enough, it doesn’t quite have the weight of some of the other films. Even though it only runs 90 minutes, it could have done with some trimming to tighten up the story.

The 100 Dollar Gang (1965)

Angel With The Iron Fists (1967)

Original Title: Tie Guan Yin
AKA: Iron Goddess
Country: Hong Kong
Director: Lo Wei
Starring: Lily Ho, Fanny Fan, Lo Wei, Tang Ching, Tina Chin Fei
Music: Eddie Wang and Fu-ling Wang

If you love stylish ’60s spy visuals, beautiful women, mod fashions, spectacular underground lairs, and goofy gadgets, then most probably, you’ll love Angel with the Iron Fists from Shaw Brothers Studios. However if you want a plot that goes somewhere and realistic fight scenes, then this film may be a bit of a let down for you.

The story is about a evil criminal organisation called the ‘Dark Angels’ and it seems that they have a vast criminal network that spreads all across the world — but their headquarters are in Hong Kong. The Dark Angels seem to have a hand in all sorts of nefarious activities from diamond smuggling to drug trafficking, with a little bit of murder thrown into the mix. As the story develops there is a vague plot thread about the creation of a new ‘super-drug’ that gives the user energy and more importantly, keeps you looking young, with which they plan to control the drug market.

As the story opens, Agent 166 has infiltrated the Dark Angels and has important information to relate to HQ. Agent 166 is walking down a deserted street at night — he is nervous and edgy. Behind him, he hears footsteps and he begins to quicken his pace until he breaks into a sprint. The pursuer gives chase. Agent 166 makes it to a phone booth and proceeds to make a call. Then four cars pull up beside the booth and a gang of men from the Dark Angels pour out. With their pistols they pepper the phone booth with shots. Agent 166 dies and the gang collect a briefcase with information from beside his dead body.

After a sprightly animated title sequence which would be at home at the begining of a Spaghetti Western, the film returns at Hong Kong airport. The authorities are awaiting the new agent flying in from London, who will take over from Agent 166. But the good guys aren’t the only ones watching the arrivals. Members of the Dark Angels have the airport staked out too.

The agent arrives. He is tall good looking with dark glasses and carrying a suitcase. Yep, he looks like a spy all right. The authorities greet him and whisk him away — followed discretely by the Dark Angels of course. But this agent is just a decoy. The real agent is Ai Si (Lily Ho), Agent 009 and she arrives in Hong Kong unobserved. She catches a taxi — acompanied by music from Goldfinger — to her hotel.


Ai Si, or ‘Angel’ as I like to call her, is posing as the rich mistress to a gangster who is behind bars. She starts her investigation at the ‘Flying Horse Night Club’ where she meets her contact, Agent 403. 403’s cover is as an annoying drunk and he tries to hit onto Angel. Between loud drunken outbursts, 403 points Angel in the direction of two people in the club that evening. One is the star performer, Miss Dolly (played by the wicked Fanny Fan) and the other is a chap named Cheng Tiehu (Tang Ching). Both Dolly and Cheng are Dark Angel operatives, and once they believe that Angel is loaded with cash they set about swindling her out of her money. They do this for two reasons — firstly they are an evil organisation and they swindle people out of their money — and secondly, because they want Angel to join the gang. In her, they see a beautiful and able bodied gang member, little do they know that she is working undercover to bring them down.

The head of the Dark Angels is Mrs Jin (Tina Chin Fei) who apart from being evil, gets to wear a clinging white leather trouser suit through the film — but the highlight of her apparel is a set of gold, knee length boots — and as is befitting a spy film, these boots are also equipped with twin knives which she can kick underperforming underlings (think ‘high-fashion’ Rosa Klebb). Not to be out done, throughout the film, actress Lily Ho gets to display a wild selection of sixties fashions.

Another highlight from the film is the villains secret lair. It features an endless amount of tunnels and odd shaped passage ways, and as you’d expect, sliding doors and coloured lights. The main chamber itself could have been ripped from Thunderball (that is if Thunderball had been decked out in gaudy colours). There are chairs for each of the top Dark Angels operatives, and when it is discovered that one of the operatives is quilty of embezzling funds, she is quickly dispatched in quite a gruesome fashion — and naturally , her chair (and remains of her body) dissappear beneath the floor.

The plot in Angel with the Iron Fists doesn’t really go anywhere. Sure, the Dark Angels are evil and need to be stopped, but they don’t really have a world changing evil plan. They are developing a drug, but that isn’t finished yet. Unlike a Bond film, there is no sense of jeopardy in the film. There is no threat of war, pending explosion or even a ‘beat the clock’ finale (despite the presence of some miniature time bombs). In the end, the story is more like a police or detective story than a spy film, only the sets, costumes and villains lair are on the scale of a big-budget spy film. But by the same token, I was very happy to let the visuals and the sounds — mostly stolen from John Barry’s Bond soundtracks — simply wash over me. I enjoyed the film, but also realise that it is not very good. But it must have been recieved well enough at the time because a follow-up was made called Angel Strikes Back, once again featuring Lily Ho as Agent 009. The sequel is possibly a bit tighter than this and is a better film. Still, if you watched everything else, why not give it a go!

Angel With The Iron Fists (1967)

Globetrotting

Puppet on a Chain

I am running behind in getting another post ready, but for those who are missing their regular fix of espionage, you can get a nice fat serve of Alistair Maclean action in the spy thriller, Puppet on a Chain at the Black Hole DVD Reviews.

To read Mark’s review, click here.

Torn Curtain and Pickup on South Street

From there you can head on over to The Lightning Bug’s Lair. The Lair is one of the sites I learned about by becoming a member of LAMB, and I am glad I did, this site is amazing. I don’t even like horror films (I know, I’m a big squib) but I always find something fascinating to read there. The Bug covers everything from horror, exploitation, giallo, Turkish superman films, science fiction…the list is endless.

The reviews themselves are witty and informative, and usually there’s the odd (very odd) video clip there to give you a taster of the film under discussion.

His recent spy reviews include Hitchcock’s Torn Curtain and Sam Fuller’s Pickup on South Street.

And for those whose tastes run a little bit to the more exotic and erotic side on chud.com there are reviews of the adult spy films In the Sign of Sagittarius and In the Sign of Scorpio featuring Agent 69.

If that’s not enough for you, and you want to move away from spy films, a few of my recent reviews are up on Teleport City where you can read about the Ozploitation classic Stone and for less than creepy thrills, the Michael Caine flick The Hand.

Globetrotting

Close the door, Palmer!

Over at Mister 8, the Harry Palmer Files continues, and it is building into a very impressive project – dare I say it ‘Library’. If you haven’t been over to check it out, well ‘shame on you’ because it has been going for near on a month now. To keep in the spirit of the program, below are some scans of my ‘Palmer’ books – I have others versions but these are the ones with Michael Caine on the cover. As you can see the books are well loved and have seen better days.





For more on Len Deighton, Harry Palmer, Michael Caine and much, much more, head over to Mister 8.

To open file 001
, click here.
To open file 002, click here.
To open file 003, click here.
To open file 004, click here.
To open file 005, click here.
To open file 006, click here.
To open file 007, click here.
To open file 008, click here.
To open file 009, click here.
To open file 010, click here.
To open file 011, click here.
To open file 012, click here.
To open file 013, click here.
To open file 014, click here.
To open file 015, click here.
To open file 016, click here.
To open file 017, click here.
To open file 018, click here.
To open file 019, click here.
To open file 020, click here.
To open file 021, click here.
To open file 022, click here.
To open file 023, click here.
To open file 024, click here.

If that is not enough for you, be sure to check out the Deighton Dossier – the Internet’s most comprehensive resource about British author Len Deighton.

Len Deighton’s world is one of secret spies and not-so secret betrayal; heroism in war and the battle of the sexes; big-time crooks and small-time villains; swinging sixties London and the drab uniformity of East Berlin.

The website is about all this and more – found in the work of Len Deighton, one of the world’s leading thriller and spy novel writers.

To head over, click here.

And what spy fan can go past the Harry Palmer Movie Site – well I certainly can’t! The site contains information about the five Harry Palmer films, including snippets from behind the scenes, image galleries, film clips, locations, soundtracks, deleted scenes, trivia and a whole lot more.

If you are interested in Len Deighton’s creation at all, then I suggest that you pay this site a visit.

To head across, click here.

‘Close the door, Palmer!’

Close the door, Palmer!

For Your Sighs Only

Author: Clyde Allison
Real name: William Henley Knoles
Publisher: Ember Library EL 329
Cover illustration: Robert Bonfils
Published: May 1966

For Your Sighs Only is the ninth title published in the highly collectible Trevor Anderson – Agent 0008 Series.

WARNING: This review contains sexual and adult themes.

I guess because Ian Fleming’s James Bond stories were serialised in Playboy magazine, Bond, as well as being a spy was labelled as being a confident ladies man, and in parodies this was stretched and he was often depicted as a randy skirt chaser. It is not so very surprising then, that adult books would latch on the Bond bandwagon. Many series of adult books featuring studly spies appeared in the mid to late sixties. Due to their adult content, they were pretty much over-looked by the main stream media and now have almost disappeared into the ether. However, one series that is still highly sought after are the Clyde Allison 0008 adventures.

The books are now collectors items, and when you can obtain them, they sell for exorbitant prices. One the things that makes them collectible is the incredible cover artwork by Robert Bonfils. The other aspect that makes them collectible is the writing by Clyde Allison — which is a pseudonym for William Henley Knoles. The stories vary in quality. Some are witty and clever, others are simply repetitive; but generally they are fast paced and fun (in their weird perverted way!) Of the few stories I have read, For Your Sighs Only seems to have a slightly higher sexual content than some of the others in the series. But generally the sex scenes are quite tame by today’s literary standards. There are loads of deliberately puerile descriptions of body parts — breasts are routinely described as ‘frontal fun flesh’.

For Your Sighs Only opens with a vigorous, nude ski chase on the Swiss Alps. Our hero is chasing down three enemies of the Free World – who are also skiing naked. During the chase 0008 tries to pick of his targets with a ski pole gun. One thing that struck me is about the ski pole gun is that James Bond uses the same thing at the start of the film The Spy Who Loved Me. The writer (of screenplay & novelisation) of the TSWLM was Christopher Wood – who prior to his gig as Bond wrote those British ‘Confessions of…’ books. If you’re not familiar with them they were a series of soft core sex comedies from the sixties and seventies. So if he was a writer in the same genre as Clyde Allison it is quite possible that he had read the 0008 books and ‘borrowed’ the idea for Bond.

The ski chase continues, and 0008 picks off two of his targets, but manages to get tangled up with the third – so much so that they roll off the edge, down into a crevice. Their predicament doesn’t end there and an avalanche of snow begins to fall on them…and, and, and 0008 freezes to death. Yep. He’s dead! Well that’s one way to start a book!

The story then, of course flashes back to the start of the mission. SADISTO — who are the good guys — like most intelligence agencies are short on funds to fiance their missions. But they now have an opportunity to acquire one billion dollars in gold. The gold is the long lost treasure of ‘Darius the Great’, ruler of ancient Persia. This treasure was recently found by a cave explorer called Lithica Stone. Lithica has now varnished, but prior to going missing, she passed the location to the treasure cave to two friends. Each of these friends was given one part of the location — one was given the exact longitude — the other was given the exact latitude. Unfortunately these two girls were kidnapped by the evil organisation KRUNCH (Kriminality, Revenge, Under-handed tricks, Nastiness, Cruelty and Hijacking). KRUNCH torture the girls and mange to extract the longitude from one of the girls. But before they can find out the latitude, SADISTO Agent 0002 comes to the rescue and kills all the KRUNCH operatives. 0002 learns the latitude from the surviving girl before she expires.

So SADISTO have the latitude co-ordinate to find the gold, but KRUNCH have the longitude. 0008’s mission is simple — he has to infiltrate KRUNCH and find out the Longitude co-ordinate. 0008 begins his mission at a KRUNCH summit meeting which is being held at a nudist colony in Switzerland. What could happen to a randy secret agent at a nudist colony?

As this is a story about ‘Gold’ it will come as no surprise that this book makes several references to ‘Goldfinger’ (the film — rather than the book). The first occurs on page 45:

A Portly, fair haired man, who looked a bit like the actor Gert Frobe, rose to his portly feet.
“Heil Hit…I mean, Greetings, fellow conspirators,” he wheezed.

Of course this is referring to the controversy that surrounded the film Goldfinger when it was discovered that actor, Frobe had been a member of the Nazi Party. From Wikipedia:

Born in Zwickau, Fröbe was a member of the Nazi Party before and during World War II. However, he aided German Jews by hiding them from the Gestapo. Because of his former membership in the Nazi Party, the film Goldfinger was initially banned in Israel until he was publicly thanked for his help by a Jewish family.

The next Goldfinger reference is a bit more blatant and it comes from a speech delivered by the head villainess, Miss Fu Chik Chu — page 51:

“Thank you, fellow co-conspirators. It is true that I have devoted most of my life to the pursuit of gold. Next to my late, great, still remembered friend, Auric Goldfinger, no person in history has pursued gold so avidly, has loved gold so deeply. Thus, humbly, I feel I am the right person to recover the greatest gold hoard of all time. With your assent, I now assume complete charge of Operation Gold Trove.”

Now, as I described the opening chapter ending with 0008 freezing to death, you’re probably wondering how he gets out of that predicament. Obviously I do not want to spoil the story, and this is one of the better twists in the novel — but 0008 wakes up in the future 2066.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Most readers would be familiar with the famous Page 69 Test. The theory is that page 69 should be a good reflection on the contents of the book. Well, with a piece of Clyde Allison erotica, I guess the 69 Test takes on a new meaning. But still I thought it was worth submitting For Your Sighs Only to the test to see how it stacks up. The page begins with our hero, 0008 in hospital after being revived from being buried frozen in the ice for the past century – so the following part of the story takes place in the future.

The nurse punched a button and the giant TV screen went silent and became a mirror again. “Well,” she said brightly, “you’re almost famous. Now, what can I do for you? Orange juice? Coffee? Tea? A cigarette?”

“A cigarette,” I mused. “So they finally worked the bugs out of cigarettes, eh?”

“I’m afraid not,” frowned the nurse. “They’re still the chief cause of lung cancer and heart disease. But with the population what it is, who cares? Maybe you’d prefer an alcoholic drink, or a hallucinogenic mushroom pill, or sex, or…”

“Sex?” I leered.

She looked at me worriedly. “Why do you have that curious expression on your face? Almost as if – why, you’re leering! How adorably old-fashioned! But then I keep forgetting how old you are. Sex was pretty secret and snide back in your century, wasn’t it old timer. Now, of course, we take sex for granted.” She sauntered nakedly over to me. “Want me to relieve your sexual tensions?”

I nodded eagerly. And a tingling, rising sensation low in my body told me that my normal reactions hadn’t been impaired by a century on ice…

For Your Sighs Only passes the Page 69 Test with flying colours. The above passage perfectly sums up what you can expect to find within it’s pages.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The more I read and find out about Clyde Allison the more fascinated I become. Because they were mildly pornographic, these books appear to have been somewhat dismissed as ‘throwaways’ at the time — but some of the ideas contained within have stood the test of time and may have been ‘borrowed/recycled/stolen’ for more legitimate spy fiction and films over the intervening years.

Thanks to Flapjack 111, I am happy to present For Your Sighs Only in it’s entirety. As the Clyde Allison 0008 Sadisto novels are out of print, rare, and extremely expensive, we thought it only right that we should share the adventures of one of the more perverse Bondian imitators.
You can find links to download JPGs for For Your Sighs Only below.
Enjoy.

To download part one, click here.
To download part two,
click here.

For Your Sighs Only

For Your Sighs Only

Written by Clyde Allison
Real name: William Henley Knoles
Published by Ember Library EL 329
Cover illustration by Robert Bonfils

Published: May 1966

For Your Sighs Only is the ninth title published in the highly collectible Trevor Anderson – Agent 0008 Series.

WARNING: This review contains sexual and adult themes.

I guess because Ian Fleming’s James Bond stories were serialised in Playboy magazine, Bond, as well as being a spy was labelled as being a confident ladies man, and in parodies this was stretched and he was often depicted as a randy skirt chaser. It is not so very surprising then, that adult books would latch on the Bond bandwagon. Many series of adult books featuring studly spies appeared in the mid to late sixties. Due to their adult content, they were pretty much over-looked by the main stream media and now have almost disappeared into the ether. However, one series that is still highly sought after are the Clyde Allison 0008 adventures.

The books are now collectors items, and when you can obtain them, they sell for exorbitant prices. One the things that makes them collectable is the incredible cover artwork by Robert Bonfils. The other aspect that makes them collectable is the writing by Clyde Allison — which is a pseudonym for William Henley Knoles. The stories vary in quality. Some are witty and clever, others are simply repetitive; but generally they are fast paced and fun (in their weird perverted way!) Of the few stories I have read, For Your Sighs Only seems to have a slightly higher sexual content than some of the others in the series. But generally the sex scenes are quite tame by today’s literary standards. There are loads of deliberately puerile descriptions of body parts — breasts are routinely described as ‘frontal fun flesh’.

For Your Sighs Only opens with a vigorous, nude ski chase on the Swiss Alps. Our hero is chasing down three enemies of the Free World – who are also skiing naked. During the chase 0008 tries to pick of his targets with a ski pole gun. One thing that struck me is about the ski pole gun is that James Bond uses the same thing at the start of the film The Spy Who Loved Me. The writer (of screenplay & novelisation) of the TSWLM was Christopher Wood – who prior to his gig as Bond wrote those British ‘Confessions of…’ books. If you’re not familiar with them they were a series of soft core sex comedies from the sixties and seventies. So if he was a writer in the same genre as Clyde Allison it is quite possible that he had read the 0008 books and ‘borrowed’ the idea for Bond.

The ski chase continues, and 0008 picks off two of his targets, but manages to get tangled up with the third – so much so that they roll off the edge, down into a crevice. Their predicament doesn’t end there and an avalanche of snow begins to fall on them…and, and, and 0008 freezes to death. Yep. He’s dead! Well that’s one way to start a book!

The story then, of course flashes back to the start of the mission. SADISTO — who are the good guys — like most intelligence agencies are short on funds to fiance their missions. But they now have an opportunity to acquire one billion dollars in gold. The gold is the long lost treasure of ‘Darius the Great’, ruler of ancient Persia. This treasure was recently found by a cave explorer called Lithica Stone. Lithica has now varnished, but prior to going missing, she passed the location to the treasure cave to two friends. Each of these friends was given one part of the location — one was given the exact longitude — the other was given the exact latitude. Unfortunately these two girls were kidnapped by the evil organisation KRUNCH (Kriminality, Revenge, Under-handed tricks, Nastiness, Cruelty and Hijacking). KRUNCH torture the girls and mange to extract the longitude from one of the girls. But before they can find out the latitude, SADISTO Agent 0002 comes to the rescue and kills all the KRUNCH operatives. 0002 learns the latitude from the surviving girl before she expires.

So SADISTO have the latitude co-ordinate to find the gold, but KRUNCH have the longitude. 0008’s mission is simple — he has to infiltrate KRUNCH and find out the Longitude co-ordinate. 0008 begins his mission at a KRUNCH summit meeting which is being held at a nudist colony in Switzerland. What could happen to a randy secret agent at a nudist colony?

As this is a story about ‘Gold’ it will come as no surprise that this book makes several references to ‘Goldfinger’ (the film — rather than the book). The first occurs on page 45:

A Portly, fair haired man, who looked a bit like the actor Gert Frobe, rose to his portly feet.
“Heil Hit…I mean, Greetings, fellow conspirators,” he wheezed.

Of course this is referring to the controversy that surrounded the film Goldfinger when it was discovered that actor, Frobe had been a member of the Nazi Party. From Wikipedia:

Born in Zwickau, Fröbe was a member of the Nazi Party before and during World War II. However, he aided German Jews by hiding them from the Gestapo. Because of his former membership in the Nazi Party, the film Goldfinger was initially banned in Israel until he was publicly thanked for his help by a Jewish family.

The next Goldfinger reference is a bit more blatant and it comes from a speech delivered by the head villainess, Miss Fu Chik Chu — page 51:

“Thank you, fellow co-conspirators. It is true that I have devoted most of my life to the pursuit of gold. Next to my late, great, still remembered friend, Auric Goldfinger, no person in history has pursued gold so avidly, has loved gold so deeply. Thus, humbly, I feel I am the right person to recover the greatest gold hoard of all time. With your assent, I now assume complete charge of Operation Gold Trove.”

Now, as I described the opening chapter ending with 0008 freezing to death, you’re probably wondering how he gets out of that predicament. Obviously I do not want to spoil the story, and this is one of the better twists in the novel — but 0008 wakes up in the future 2066.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Most readers would be familiar with the famous Page 69 Test. The theory is that page 69 should be a good reflection on the contents of the book. Well, with a piece of Clyde Allison erotica, I guess the 69 Test takes on a new meaning. But still I thought it was worth submitting For Your Sighs Only to the test to see how it stacks up. The page begins with our hero, 0008 in hospital after being revived from being buried frozen in the ice for the past century – so the following part of the story takes place in the future.

The nurse punched a button and the giant TV screen went silent and became a mirror again. “Well,” she said brightly, “you’re almost famous. Now, what can I do for you? Orange juice? Coffee? Tea? A cigarette?”
“A cigarette,” I mused. “So they finally worked the bugs out of cigarettes, eh?”
“I’m afraid not,” frowned the nurse. “They’re still the chief cause of lung cancer and heart disease. But with the population what it is, who cares? Maybe you’d prefer an alcoholic drink, or a hallucinogenic mushroom pill, or sex, or…”
“Sex?” I leered.
She looked at me worriedly. “Why do you have that curious expression on your face? Almost as if – why, you’re leering! How adorably old-fashioned! But then I keep forgetting how old you are. Sex was pretty secret and snide back in your century, wasn’t it old timer. Now, of course, we take sex for granted.” She sauntered nakedly over to me. “Want me to relieve your sexual tensions?” I nodded eagerly. And a tingling, rising sensation low in my body told me that my normal reactions hadn’t been impaired by a century on ice…


For Your Sighs Only passes the Page 69 Test with flying colours. The above passage perfectly sums up what you can expect to find within it’s pages.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The more I read and find out about Clyde Allison the more fascinated I become. Because they were mildly pornographic, these books appear to have been somewhat dismissed as ‘throwaways’ at the time — but some of the ideas contained within have stood the test of time and may have been ‘borrowed/recycled/stolen’ for more legitimate spy fiction and films over the intervening years.

Thanks to Flapjack 111, I am happy to present For Your Sighs Only in it’s entirety. As the Clyde Allison 0008 Sadisto novels are out of print, rare, and extremely expensive, we thought it only right that we should share the adventures of one of the more perverse Bondian imitators.
You can find links to download JPGs for For Your Sighs Only below.
Enjoy.

To download part one, click here.
To download part two,
click here.

For Your Sighs Only