The Sensuous Nurse (1975)

Ursula Andress FestivalOriginal Title: (L’Infermiera)
AKA: I Will If You Will, The Nurse, The Secrets of a Sensuous Nurse.
Director: Nello Rossati
Starring: Ursula Andress, Jack Palance, Duilio Del Prete, Luciana Paluzzi, Marina Confalone, Mario Pisu, Lino Toffolo, Carla Romanelli
Music: Gianfranco Plenizio

I struggle with Italian comedy. True, my experiences have been limited to a few Franco & Ciccio films, but the experience has scarred me so deeply that I have no choice but to right off all Italian comedies. Against my better judgment I watched The Sensuous Nurse, which is an Italian sex comedy from the mid seventies. It takes something pretty special to make me overcome my prejudice, and in this instance the appeal is that Ursula Andress spends quite a bit of the movie’s running time cavorting around naked. In fact there is quite a bit of ‘cavorting’ from all the actresses in the film, including Lucianna Paluzzi and Carla Romanelli

As a bit of smut, I’d say The Sensuous Nurse delivers, but as a comedy, the film is a bit of a failure. It may be that the humour doesn’t translate too well, or it could be a generational thing too. I find myself quite bored with the British sex comedies from that era too (I wont say ‘bored stiff’ or you’ll start throwing things at the screen).

Count Leonida Bottacin (Mario Piso) is a lecherous old man and an old school wine maker. But he has a heart attack and is on his death bed. In the interim, the business is temporarily taken over by Benito Varotto (Duilio Del Prete). Benito makes a shady deal with American entrepreneur Mr. Kitch (Jack Palance), but this deal can only go through once the Count is dead.

Unfortunately for Benito, the unthinkable starts to happen – the Count begins to get better. And if he gets better, then Benito can not go through with his deal with Kitch. Now Kitch is not a man you can renege on.

So Benito hatches a plan, which he hopes will speed the old lecherous Count on his way to his maker. This plan involves employing a seductive nurse named Anna (Ursula Andress). She is to take care of the Count. Her nurses outfit and bedside manner is intended to raise the old Count’s blood pressure so much, that he will have another heart attack (and die). As this is a farce, all sorts of complications arise, but I didn’t think it was too funny. Some of the situations make The Benny Hill Show look highbrow in comparison.

The Sensuous Nurse probably isn’t worth your time and money, but if you are a huge fan of the James Bond films, and therefore a huge fan of Ursula Andress (Dr. No) and Luciana Paluzzi (Thunderball), and you have money to burn, then by all means seek this out. I can’t promise that you’ll enjoy it, but you’re probably only watching it for the nudity anyway. Hey – that’s okay by me – it’s your life!

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The Sensuous Nurse (1975)

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